Poor Raymond Minix, my former roomate

For many years here in Independence, I lived mostly alone, except for the occasional overnight visitor, etc. Six months ago, back in July, I 'inherited' Raymond Minix. What I mean by that is, this younger guy, in his middle thirties, came to church one Sunday, like a lost puppy, and latched onto me. Raymond is gay, like myself but he has _many_ problems. For one, he is a lifelong epileptic; he has the occassional grand mal seizure, and he has a very hard time finding employment.

Raymond is a _great hairdresser_, and he is a kind and very loving person, most of the time. He has a cat, 'Sassy' which is the love of his life. Raymond has been attempting to get Social Security Disability for about a year, without success. He also receives a very small stipend each month from SRS, and food stamps. But Raymond has other problems, not the least of which are psychological in nature. He is very bummed out by his Epilepsy, and his inability to obtain and hold a job. He obtains a job, tells his employer about his seizures, and they let him go, or maybe he has a seizure at work and they let him go, politely and making excuses for it but attempting to stay within the law pertaining to disabled Americans. He has requested assistance from the National Epilepsy Foundation, and it is coming, but very slowly.

Raymond has wanted a 'lover' for many years, and seems very disappointed by not being able to find one on a steady long-term basis. When he first came here to stay with me after he fell behind in his rent where he was living, he assumed that he and I would be lovers. And he _is_ a nice looking fellow if that was my criteria. But I thought I was trying to help him and counsel him and that it would not be appropriate to have him as a lover under those conditions. In essence, I think I wound up 'enabling' his psychological illness. He was very abusive from the first day I met him, would frequently have a panic attack when he thought he was going to be evicted, etc. I tried very hard to show him as much kindness as I am capable of -- even though I could not _love_ him, and just dealt with him as politely as I could. When he now and then has a very _lucid_ thinking period, I have encouraged him to get into counseling at our local mental health center and he started doing that. His birthday was December 26, the day after Christmas, and he was particularly moody that day. He smokes marijuana -- and claims he has a medical mark on his records allowing him to do so. Anyway, on December 26 in the late evening he had one of his panic attacks and became impossible to live with; I had to ask him to leave, after some argument he did so, as we had earlier set a date of 'the end of the year' for him to on his feet and independent. I have felt very bad since that time; have considered asking him to return here to live as he had been doing, but as I think about it, I feel I have to first look out for myself and my own ill health. I do miss him a lot as a friend, and find the past several months on the one hand to have been a distasteful period in my life, but on the other side my own religious upbringing says to try to help those less fortunate than myself, which I did try to do. This experience has made a miserable failure of myself as well, I am sorry to say. Raymond was fond of saying to me that "God brought us together for a reason" and that may be so ... I have to wonder if Raymond is still around town, with his cat Sassy ...